What is my role as a woman?

What is my role?

As I am journaling in my book. I was thinking about God's will in my life. And I thought, I need to look up in the bible to remind myself what is my role as a wife, as a mother, as a woman in the church.

What is our role in marriage exactly? The answer that comes to mind quickly is submit myself to my husband as my husband submits himself to Christ. So I looked up a few places and this is what I was reminded of, and also what I have discovered...

I have discovered that our role as a woman is very important.  We are equal to man but we have a different role to play then man.  We have to act on our role out of love for our God and our husband, not out of duty.  I also discovered we are accountable to our husbands and God.  Men do not rule over women in general, but our husbands rule over us (the wives).  Which can give an impression that men rule over women but this is incorrect.  The family unit is very clear in the bible.  God is head, then man (which comes alot of responsibility), then woman, then children.  And the church is made up of many of these units.  But lets dive into the word and take a look.

 

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 states “Let the husband fulfil his duty to his wife and likewise also the wife to her husband. The Wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self control.”

I kinda forgot that one :) My body is not my own...sometimes I am too tired, or I have a headache. But here it says we don't have authority over our own body. It belongs to my husband. It states very clearly “Stop depriving one another.” That is so very important, as I think also that man is so much more physical than a woman, because they do not share emotionally like a woman does. This physical is our way of telling them we love them. Which I did not understand for many years. It is so important that we do not let our husbands feel frustrated or give up on this area. When they give up that is when we deprive our husbands and therefore allow Satan's temptation to come in because of lack of self control. This is important for us woman to understand for our husbands sake. A woman can go so much longer then a man, but that is too much time for our husband and then it becomes depravity for our husband.

Ok, let's move on.

So then I took a look at our marriage vows from Ephesians 5:22-33

“22Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. .... 24But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. ....32This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

So in this passage we are to be subject to our own husbands. We ought to be to our husbands as the church is subject to Christ. What exactly is “subjecting” ourselves to our husband?

So then I also looked at 1 Timothy 2:9 – 15

"Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet"

So I read this, and read a commentary on this...And first of all it shows that woman were active in the church, it shows because of how they want the women to dress as stated above and it also mentions them in the church throughout the new testament. The important idea in that day was not to look like the temple priestesses at the temple of Aphrodite on Acrocorinth who were also prostitutes. Also there were priestesses of Delphi who spoke incoherently and lead men astray. These priestesses wore gold and costly garments and did not dress in a proper manner. So it was important for Paul to address this issue. As well the main issue was to make sure there was absolutely no confusion in the church. It was to be very clear what the role of a man was, so therefore men to not wear long hair, and possibly look like a woman. The priestesses would also speak incoherently and it was not fully understood what they said which lead to confusion on the receiver. They also spoke in different languages as well which caused confusion. So it was very important at this time for the woman to not be looking like a “priestess” and to not act like a “priestess” which was happening in the churches during that time. Paul was addressing this to put a stop to it. He was also stating that we should dress for our husbands and no other man.

In 1 Corinthians 11:5 it says “ But every woman who has her head uncovered while praying or prophesying, disgraces her head; for she is one and the same with her whose head is shaved.” 

So to say women should be quiet in the church is actually incorrect. As the verse above does not state that and the bible has no contradictions....So the word quiet in 1 Timothy passage is actually the noun hesuchia which means tranquil not disturbed. Her whole presence should be tranquil and peaceable. Not keep her mouth shut as what was once thought...

1 Peter 3: 1-4, 7

"In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behaviour of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behaviour. Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. you husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honour as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."

Again in this passage he is stating the being of who a woman should be. Peaceful, tranquil, quiet spirit.

Also in this passage Peter states us as the “weaker vessel” he is meaning physically we are weaker and it is up to the man to protect us. As again if we took this as being lower then this would contradict other passages in the bible. As even in the existing passage man is to “grant her honour as a fellow heir of the grace of life”, so clearly he is not stating us as a lower being just physically not as strong.

1 Corinthians 11: 3 – 16

"But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and God is the head of Christ....But every woman who has her head uncovered while praying or prophesying, disgraces her head; for she is one and the same with her whose head is shaved. For if a woman does not cover her head, let her also have her hair cut off; but if it is disgraceful for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, let her cover her head For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake. Therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels."

So as I take a look at all these passages it does show more clear about the role of the woman. It is primary that the woman is focused on her role as a wife. She is to be a peaceful tranquil spirit, she is not to dress in a way that would attract other men, just her husband. She is also to understand her body is not her own, but also her husbands. And she is to not give the impression that she is ruler of her home, but actually a servant to her husband. We submit ourselves to our husband, this is God's will. We are not to teach consistently all the time as we may by perceived as having authority over our husbands. Same with our speech, we are not to speak as if we decide and have authority over our house. We must show we do not have authority, and we do submit ourselves to our husbands. She can teach, pray and prophesy in the church but not so much that it looks like she is the spiritual head of the home. It is important that the roles are not just clearly done but also clearly shown out to the community and church. It is also clear that we are not ruled by man, but we answer to God and to our husbands. Woman have a powerful role in the world and in the church. We are viewed as equal to man , Galatians 3:28 and 1 Peter 3:7 are just two examples of this. As in some of the scriptures above women pray and prophesy in the church. These are important roles.

When I take a look at these scriptures and society today, how does this apply? Well for one we can certainly take an active role in the church. It just states that whatever we do make sure we don't give the impression we are leaders of our family. And that takes communication and work between you and your husband, no one else in the church. In the church as well it is very clear that we are not under ruling of men, we are accountable to God and our husband. God also emphasises that we need to make our roles very clear so we don't cause confusion. Confusion causes chaos in society, the community, and the church. Throughout the new testament there are passages that state this as a very important issue. We must not cause confusion. The roles have been mixed up, and confusing and not clear even in the church. Also my observance growing up was that some woman did some of these roles, but out of duty. It was displayed at church but not always practiced in the home. I beleive that to be because the woman did not understand where she exactly fit.  I think as a Christian community we are missing the boat on these roles. Also I believe the men do not have a clear understanding of the seriousness of their roles and the accountability by God that they have to perform these roles. I would not want to be a man! Our roles are out of love for our God and out of love for our husbands. We have a duty but is the “duty” what we are driving our actions from? If so we have it all wrong. We are missing the basic foundation of where all our actions come from. We need to refocus on what God is calling us to do. God's will is for us to love him completely and because we have taken a vow in front of God to our husbands we love our husbands completely also. Sometimes I have heard women say, “Well the men won't do their roles so the women have to” and I actually bought into that concept. But it is wrong...maybe us women did not allow the men to do their roles, and they gave up! I have to say, this is alot to process. And I will have to come back to it on a repeated basis to re-read this. I see now who we are and where we fit. And it clears so much up, as far as our roles in the church. Women, we have alot of work to do! Let's go out there and love our God and our husbands fully and completely.